Retired Husband

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.


Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.


Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:


Dear Mrs. Harris ,


Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris , are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":


1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.


2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.


3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.


4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.


5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.


8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.


9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.


10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.


11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.


12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.


13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'


14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!


15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?


And last, but not least:


16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

One of the clerks passed out.

Read and write in tamil

1) for type online http://www.google.com/transliterate/  

2) Choose Tamil for chrome https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/dooacmfhdikjfklbmejepfcjblnfjnhp#

3) Install the local window client  http://software.nhm.in/products/writer

For Firefox use addon https://addons.mozilla.org/en-us/firefox/addon/tamilvisai-tamilkey/

for Chrome Use this add on https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/gafpeaoljjcahihccmjpkmijdlmocnjl

Hope this works

AD Tools on Windows 7

Download RSAT and install

The RSAT link is http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?displaylang=en&FamilyID=7d2f6ad7-656b-4313-a005-4e344e43997d

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Then go to Control Panel > Programs and Features > Turn Windows features on or off. Now select "Remote Server Admin Tools". You have to expand each component and check the ones you want. Once that runs you can add the in the MMC snap in. Good luck!

Turned on-

Remote Server Admin Tools

Server Manager
Role Admin Tools
DNS Server Tools

AD DS and AD LDS TOOLS

Remote Desktop Services Tools

Feature Admin Tools (These may not be needed, or only applicable to NT Systems and Security Team)

GPO Tools

SMTP Server Tools

Windows System Resource Monitor Tools

CricInfo Comments and Indian cricket Sentiments

We always have our own sentiments during cricket matches, Holding 1's and 2's, not scratching head, nail biting, more and more :). the following are collected from the Match between India Vs Aus in Quarterfinal match.


Aussie Innings:

Sunny: "At home, I am feeling the pressure of the game...I wonder what the players are going through."
Mel: "Aussies turning it around here...Ponting seems determined to prove a point...did India miss a trick by benching Sreesanth today? He would have sledged him out by now!"
@End of over 18 (10 runs) Australia 86/1


Shantu: "Munaf looks more and more like Venkatesh Prasad, bowling 5 slow balls and one slower!" That's being very unfair to Prasad!
@End of over 21 (5 runs) Australia 100/1


Ankit: "Ponting's innings is increasingly resembling the one he played in the 2003 WC final: starting slowly with careful nudges while getting the odd-boundary. I hope he didn't watch that part of the video where he explodes, because otherwise it might be curtains for India. "
Comment from CricInfo: Hmm, he didn't really begin slowly that day.
@End of over 25 (2 runs) Australia 116/2


Prashant: "Ponting has reached his highest score for this world cup!!!Conratulations and celebrations!!!Thats enough mate now time to go back and break another LCD!" Hooha!
@End of over 27 (2 runs) Australia 122/2


Sasikaran: "How good it would be if Sachin gets Ponting out now.. Both of them are playing their last world cup & for one it's his last world cup match." The latter may not be true you know.
Grumpy: "that could be the last time sachin bowled in ODIs." Too many hasty conclusions being made!
@End of over 32 (5 runs) Australia 146/3


Indian Innnings:


Talat: "Ponting just personified the phrase "Form is temporary - Class is permanent".... time for sachin to personify "Form is permanent - Class is Permanent"!"
@End of over 2 (11 runs) India 16/0

CricInfo: I wonder if Munaf Patel is watching the speeds on Lee's bowling. I wonder what he makes of it.
Mukunth: "Munaf might as well think that someone replaced the speedometer with an Auto Meter!"
@End of over 3 (4 runs) India 20/0

CricInfo: Amol Palekar is in the stands. No one is upto any golmaal, just yet.

Nitin: "Hope Amol Palekar's boss doesn't catch him seeing the match" Hahaha! By the way, Rajnikanth played Amol's role in the Tamil version of the movie - "Thillu mullu"

Mukunth: "The no. of matches Tait has played is less by 2 compared to Sachin's age. See, who is having a go at whom!"

Mike: "Amol Palekar?? Golmaal?? Please explain?"

Palekar - Bollywood legend. Glmaal - great Bollywood movie. Google for other details.

Kevin: "And there is Pankaj Udhas in the crowd! And Udhas unlike his name is Happy."

Udhas - great singer of ghazals. Google for more info.

Later Sometime by Vijay: "Google for more info". To know more about google, bing it."

@End of over 6 (4 runs) India 34/0

Utkarsh: 'I think I have crossed all boundaries when it comes to superstitions .. I took off my left shoe and Ponting got out .. some time later I took off my right shoe and Sehwag got out . Now am walking around with one shoe in my office !! "
ColinfromLondon: "18,000 runs! If runs were dinners it would take 50years to eat them. (well technically 49.31506 but still)"
@End of over 14 India 70/1 G Gambhir 3* Sachin 45*


Mukunth: "The no. of matches Tait has played is less by 2 compared to Sachin's age. See, who is having a go at whom!"
Karthik: "SRT has just entered the Cheat code and turned on the God Mode."

@End of over 15- India 76/1 G Gambhir 8* Sachin 46*

Neeraj: "Utkarsh, you removed your shoe?"

@End of over 19 India 98/2 , Sachin was OUT 53 (68b 7x4 0x6) SR: 77.94

Karthik: "Heart in the mouth moment for yuvraj, heart in the mouth moment for the whole of India. No more thrillers please"

Sathya: "For once, India is chasing well under pressure. I really really hope they dont throw it away. Virat's horrendous shot and now the run out.. "

@End of over 33 India 168/3

@36.3

Johnson to Yuvraj Singh, no run, there are no fish in the Kankaria lake in Ahmedabad, but Yuvraj is really fishing hard. Another lazy flail at a back of length ball outside off, swish and a miss.

@36.4
Johnson to Yuvraj Singh, FOUR, and you wonder why he does that fishing thing, when he can play shots like these.

37.3 Lee to Dhoni, OUT
Abhishek: "Looks like Indian players are getting ready for IPL ...."
Tait with a slip, over the wicket. Australia are going for the kill.

@End of over 38 (wicket maiden) India 187/5

Sasank: "When ever I move from my desk , I see a wicket down.. Now holding my bladder tight... India you will do it...."

Jim: "Shoes! Shoes! everyone take off your shoes!"

@End of over 42 (2 runs) India 222/5

Md Akhtar: "I am not moving from my place, old Indian trick. Fingers crossed. :-)"

@End of over 46 (7 runs) India 246/5

Sai: "Buh-Bye! Restroom here i come!!"

Kedar: "This innings ranks at the very top for Yuvraj... a gem of an innings under immense pressure, what a transformation!"

Priyadarshini: "The last time Australia hadn't played the world cup final was 1992. Things changes and I am loving it."

Its ME: Save TV's(beware of Ponting)

@END OF THE MATCH

Sweet edu, kondaadu. NO NO it's time for LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO