14K Pending

1) Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax

6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

8) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

18) Qus.: How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!





My 14k is pending from Govt, thats the anger made me to post this.

Heart Attacks and Drinking Warm Water

This is a very good article.. Not only about the warm water after your meal, but about Heart Attacks . The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals, not cold water, maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating.

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine.
Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer & arthritis . It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

Common Symptoms Of Heart Attack...

A serious note about heart attacks - You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting .

Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line .

You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.

Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms.

60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.

Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep.

Let's be careful and be aware.

The more we know, the better chance we could survive.

Not sure this is true?

Manoj Paramahamsa

Port Numbers

15 Netstat
21 FTP
23 Telnet
25 SMTP
42 WINS
53 DNS
67 Bootp
68 DHCP
80 HTTP
88 Kerberos
101 HOSTNAME
110 POP3
119 NNTP
123 NTP (Network time protocol)
139 NetBIOS
161 SNMP
180 RIS
389 LDAP (Lightweight Directory Access Protocol)
443 HTTPS (HTTP over SSL/TLS)
520 RIP
79 FINGER
37 Time
3389 Terminal services
443 SSL (https) (http protocol over TLS/SSL)
220 IMAP3
3268 AD Global Catalog
3269 AD Global Catalog over SSL
500 Internet Key Exchange, IKE (IPSec) (UDP 500)

Car Stealing - A new Way in NJ

Just last weekend on Friday night my friend parked his car in a public parking area. As they drove away for a while and he noticed a sticker on the rear window of the car. When he took it off after I got home, it was a receipt for gas. Luckily, he didn't stop the car on the parking lot. There is a notice from Police stating as below

WARNING FROM POLICE
THIS APPLIES TO BOTH WOMEN AND MEN

BEWARE OF PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE--
NEW WAY TO DO CARJACKINGS (NOT A JOKE)'

Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating..... You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into Reverse. When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car. And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car. So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!


BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED...

If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away. Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you read this e-mail. I hope you will forward this to friends and family, especially to women. A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents, and you
certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.

Punches from Bush

'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.' - George W. Bush

'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.' - George W. Bush

'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.'
-George W. Bush

'I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.'- George W. Bush

'The future will be better tomorrow.'- George W. Bush

'We're going to have the best educated American people in the world.'- George W. Bush

'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.'- George W Bush

'We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe . We are a part of Europe '- George W. Bush

'Public speaking is very easy.'- George W. Bush

'A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.'- George W. Bush

'I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.'-George Bush

'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.'- George W. Bush

'For NASA, space is still a high priority.'-George W. Bush

'Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.' -George W. Bush

'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
- George W. Bush

Vijay, Simbu and other Sullans should closely watch Bush, for their career growth.

Who is this?

Mahesh Music Director

Mahesh Mahadevan…. A tribute to the young music director who passed away few years ago, but remains in my soul for ever who gave me a opportunity to start a music career, where I failed after his demise.

47 year old Mahesh Mahadevan, composer and music director, who passed away on October 29-2002. He succeeded in MBA from XLRI, Jamshedpur, he worked with corporates such as Hindustan Polymers and India Pistons until cancer struck him in the late 1980s. Mahesh learnt the rudiments of Western Classical Music on the guitar and successfully passed the exams conducted by the Trinity College of Music, London, for the guitar. When childhood friend P. Jayendra, one of the founders of Real Image Media Technologies, visited him in hospital and found him somewhat depressed, he suggested that Mahesh, who showed great promise as a music composer in his school and college years, revive this interest and compose music for jingles.

Mahesh soon went on to compose music for over 250 jingles including the hugely popular one for Regaul Blue (Sottu Neelam, Doi) besides TVS Tyres, Apollo Tyres, etc.

Meanwhile, with Real Image Media Technologies growing rapidly, Mahesh was roped in to provide management inputs and establish systems. As Director, Finance and Administration, Real Image Media Technologies, Mahesh did all that and more. From ad jingles to films was a natural transition for the talented Mahesh. As music director, he struck gold with his debut film Nammavar starring Kamal Hassan and won the Special mention award in the National Awards given away in 1995.

Thereafter, he went on to compose music for seven other films including Kuruthi Punal (Tamil) 1995, Preminchukundaam Raa (Telugu), Pelladi Choopistha (Telugu), Padutha Theeyaga (Telugu), the background score for Alavanthan (Tamil), Vaanam Vasapadum (Tamil), directed by cinematographer P.C. Sreeram and Janaki Vishwanathan’s Kanavu Meipada Vendum (Tamil).

Mahesh was also involved in career counselling and motivating other cancer patients to face life with the right attitude. He certainly struck a chord in all those whose lives he touched. For a man whose heart was in music and for the rare human being that he was, it was perhaps the most natural thing to do.

Kavya- The Spelling Bee- Championship

"It was something I’d been dreaming of for so many years, and it was great that I was finally able to achieve it," she told Early Show co-anchor Julie Chen. "But then, in a way, I also felt like I couldn’t believe it was happening."

Hats Off !

espanol blogs

espanol blogs, espanol news, at http://espanol.blogkut.com

Keyboard Shortcuts

CTRL+C (Copy)
CTRL+X (Cut)
CTRL+V (Paste)
CTRL+Z (Undo)
DELETE (Delete)
SHIFT+DELETE (Delete the selected item permanently without placing the item in the Recycle Bin)
CTRL while dragging an item (Copy the selected item)
CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item (Create a shortcut to the selected item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+RIGHT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next word)
CTRL+LEFT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous word)
CTRL+DOWN ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next paragraph)
CTRL+UP ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous paragraph)
CTRL+SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Highlight a block of text)
SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Select more than one item in a window or on the desktop, or select text in a document)
CTRL+A (Select all)
F3 key (Search for a file or a folder)
ALT+ENTER (View the properties for the selected item)
ALT+F4 (Close the active item, or quit the active program)
ALT+ENTER (Display the properties of the selected object)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Open the shortcut menu for the active window)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active document in programs that enable you to have multiple documents open simultaneously)
ALT+TAB (Switch between the open items)
ALT+ESC (Cycle through items in the order that they had been opened)
F6 key (Cycle through the screen elements in a window or on the desktop)
F4 key (Display the Address bar list in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the shortcut menu for the selected item)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the System menu for the active window)
CTRL+ESC (Display the Start menu)
ALT+Underlined letter in a menu name (Display the corresponding menu)
Underlined letter in a command name on an open menu (Perform the corresponding command)
F10 key (Activate the menu bar in the active program)
RIGHT ARROW (Open the next menu to the right, or open a submenu)
LEFT ARROW (Open the next menu to the left, or close a submenu)
F5 key (Update the active window)
BACKSPACE (View the folder one level up in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
ESC (Cancel the current task)
SHIFT when you insert a CD-ROM into the CD-ROM drive (Prevent the CD-ROM from automatically playing)
Dialog Box Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+TAB (Move forward through the tabs)
CTRL+SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the tabs)
TAB (Move forward through the options)
SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the options)
ALT+Underlined letter (Perform the corresponding command or select the corresponding option)
ENTER (Perform the command for the active option or button)
SPACEBAR (Select or clear the check box if the active option is a check box)
Arrow keys (Select a button if the active option is a group of option buttons)
F1 key (Display Help)
F4 key (Display the items in the active list)
BACKSPACE (Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the Save As or Open dialog box)
m*cro$oft Natural Keyboard Shortcuts
Windows Logo (Display or hide the Start menu)
Windows Logo+BREAK (Display the System Properties dialog box)
Windows Logo+D (Display the desktop)
Windows Logo+M (Minimize all of the windows)
Windows Logo+SHIFT+M (Restore the minimized windows)
Windows Logo+E (Open My Computer)
Windows Logo+F (Search for a file or a folder)
CTRL+Windows Logo+F (Search for computers)
Windows Logo+F1 (Display Windows Help)
Windows Logo+ L (Lock the keyboard)
Windows Logo+R (Open the Run dialog box)
Windows Logo+U (Open Utility Manager)
Accessibility Keyboard Shortcuts
Right SHIFT for eight seconds (Switch FilterKeys either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+PRINT SCREEN (Switch High Contrast either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+NUM LOCK (Switch the MouseKeys either on or off)
SHIFT five times (Switch the StickyKeys either on or off)
NUM LOCK for five seconds (Switch the ToggleKeys either on or off)
Windows Logo +U (Open Utility Manager)
Windows Explorer Keyboard Shortcuts
END (Display the bottom of the active window)
HOME (Display the top of the active window)
NUM LOCK+Asterisk sign (*) (Display all of the subfolders that are under the selected folder)
NUM LOCK+Plus sign (+) (Display the contents of the selected folder)
NUM LOCK+Minus sign (-) (Collapse the selected folder)
LEFT ARROW (Collapse the current selection if it is expanded, or select the parent folder)
RIGHT ARROW (Display the current selection if it is collapsed, or select the first subfolder)
Shortcut Keys for Character Map
After you double-click a character on the grid of characters, you can move through the grid by using the keyboard shortcuts:
RIGHT ARROW (Move to the right or to the beginning of the next line)
LEFT ARROW (Move to the left or to the end of the previous line)
UP ARROW (Move up one row)
DOWN ARROW (Move down one row)
PAGE UP (Move up one screen at a time)
PAGE DOWN (Move down one screen at a time)
HOME (Move to the beginning of the line)
END (Move to the end of the line)
CTRL+HOME (Move to the first character)
CTRL+END (Move to the last character)
SPACEBAR (Switch between Enlarged and Normal mode when a character is selected)
m*cro$oft Management Console (MMC) Main Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+O (Open a saved console)
CTRL+N (Open a new console)
CTRL+S (Save the open console)
CTRL+M (Add or remove a console item)
CTRL+W (Open a new window)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the MMC window menu)
ALT+F4 (Close the console)
ALT+A (Display the Action menu)
ALT+V (Display the View menu)
ALT+F (Display the File menu)
ALT+O (Display the Favorites menu)
MMC Console Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+P (Print the current page or active pane)
ALT+Minus sign (-) (Display the window menu for the active console window)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the Action shortcut menu for the selected item)
F1 key (Open the Help topic, if any, for the selected item)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
CTRL+F10 (Maximize the active console window)
CTRL+F5 (Restore the active console window)
ALT+ENTER (Display the Properties dialog box, if any, for the selected item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active console window. When a console has only one console window, this shortcut closes the console)
Remote Desktop Connection Navigation
CTRL+ALT+END (Open the m*cro$oft Windows NT Security dialog box)
ALT+PAGE UP (Switch between programs from left to right)
ALT+PAGE DOWN (Switch between programs from right to left)
ALT+INSERT (Cycle through the programs in most recently used order)
ALT+HOME (Display the Start menu)
CTRL+ALT+BREAK (Switch the client computer between a window and a full screen)
ALT+DELETE (Display the Windows menu)
CTRL+ALT+Minus sign (-) (Place a snapshot of the active window in the client on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as pressing PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
CTRL+ALT+Plus sign (+) (Place a snapshot of the entire client window area on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as pressing ALT+PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
m*cro$oft Internet Explorer Navigation
CTRL+B (Open the Organize Favorites dialog box)
CTRL+E (Open the Search bar)
CTRL+F (Start the Find utility)
CTRL+H (Open the History bar)
CTRL+I (Open the Favorites bar)
CTRL+L (Open the Open dialog box)
CTRL+N (Start another instance of the browser with the same Web address)
CTRL+O (Open the Open dialog box, the same as CTRL+L)
CTRL+P (Open the Print dialog box)
CTRL+R (Update the current Web page)
CTRL+W (Close the current window)

Be a Decent Husband

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25 th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".

Editor: " Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: " We had been to Ooty for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.

Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said " This is your first time ". She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said " This is your second time " and continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!

I shouted at my wife: " What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy ?"

She gave a silent look and said:

" This is your first time!!!”


Husband: "That's it. We are happily married ever after. "

Disc: This story may or may not reflect my personal experience , how abt yours

Masala Dosa

There are many ways to eat a masala dosa .What ever the way one eats; there is a very good reason for doing that. It shows some traits of the person that is you...


Case 1: People who open the masala dosa and eat it: These are the people who are very open about their life. Everyone one the persons friends would know all about him/her. I have generally seen guys do this rather than girls. Some people think that it is a gross way of eating but in truth, these people are just portraying who they are and how their life is.

Case 2: People who start from both end and approach the masala later: These are the people who like to wait for the exiting things to come to their life. Sadly when the times comes, they are not too interested or just do not know how to enjoy it to the fullest. These are the folks who just want life as either dry or exiting. They just do not know how to phase their life and enjoy it no matter what. There are two types of people within this group

Case 2.1: People who do not finish all the masala: These folks just do not care as much for the fun times as they are already brought down by the harsh reality of life. The dry periods in their life has left them with so much scars that they do not want to be really happy when the time is right. They just take only as much as they needed and end their life. A very sorry state indeed.

Case 2.2: People who finish all the masala with the little dosa they have: These are the folks who just are the extremes. They just go all out in life. No matter it is dark or bright. They may not enjoy life to the fullest but they sure make sure that they get every single good and bad thing out of life. Sometimes these folks are really hard to get along with. They are either your best friends or your worst enemies. They do not have a middle path at all.

Case 3: People who start from the middle and proceed to both ends: These are the people who like to get right to what they think is their best part of life. Usually these guys finish of the good portions in a hurry and get stuck with nothing but worst parts of their life. The thing to note among these people is that the tendency to burn out very early in their life. Like the above case, there are two kinds of people in this group too.

Case 3.1: People who do not finish the dosa: These folks are really the saddest of people. They are the ones who tend to end their life as soon as it hits the bad patch. For them, they only need and want the best things in life and nothing more. Typically, they are not prepared or tuned to life as a whole. They just want to enjoy from first till last. Sadly, no one in the world can live without even an ounce of sadness in life.... Not even the richest of the richest. But to self destruct at the mere sign of distress is very bad. That is what these guys tend to do. Some learn to live life but most of them do not.

Case 3.1: People who do finish the dosa: These folks are the typical human beings. We all enjoy the greatest of times in life and push the sad parts thinking about the great times in life. Typically the plate is clean and nothing is left for fate or in life. Happiness and sadness are part of life and these guys know that and are kind of prepared for it. Life is not always happy but there are moments of happiness here and there.

Case 4: People who eat the dosa making sure that the masala lasts for the whole dosa: These people are very rare. These are the people who like to attain balance in their life. It is hard to displease these people and it is hard to make them really happy. They like their balance and are very protective of it. Sadly these are the people who tend to be lonely as anyone else may upset the balance of their system. Perfectionist to the core and are very careful. These guys do not make the best company but are needed in any group to make the group from going hay wire.

Case 5: People who do not share and eat the dosa as if it is precious: These folks are very protective about their life. They do not want anyone to come and interfere in their life. They like to hide their true nature and intensions for their benefit. Beware of such people as they are in every group for their own need and nothing else.

Case 6: People who offer their first bite to others: These guys are overly friendly. They do anything to be part of a group and make everyone feel like the group is important than the individuals. They are the glue that holds any group together. They are very friendly and bring the best of all the others in the group. They go out of their way to help other friends. Most groups should have a person like this and they are the ones who plan the group outings and other group activities. Once this person is out of the group, typically the group slowly falls apart.

Case 7: People who take one or two bites and then offer the dosa to others: These guys care about friends and friendship but they take their time to get into the group.... They take their time in making friends and they typically are very committed once into the friendship. These guys like to always be in the side lines and typically do not jump into anything in life. They always take their time to analyze the situation and then make a decision. These guys take the better safe than sorry approach.

Case 8: People who wait for others to make the offer first: Typical people I must say. They are unsure about everything. Even if they wanted to offer, they will wait till the other person offers the food first. If the other person is silent, so are these people. They are the followers. They do terrific idea, they will pitch it to someone else and get their advice before proceeding. Sadly, most of the elderly world like these types of people.

Case 9: People who offer dosa only when they cannot finish it on their own: You all may be familiar with these kinds of people. People who are very generous only when all their needs are fulfilled. These folks are selfish but at the same time not misers or greedy. They just want to satisfy themselves before they give it to the world. They typically do not stuff themselves nor do they tend to starve. They are very good people who would give you the best of advices in life. They would make sure that you are not sad following their advice.

Case 10: People who offer the whole dosa and eat from others plates: These folks are other extreme. They know what they want, they get what they want but they cannot enjoy what they want. Instead they tend to settle for other things in life which satisfies the needs but does not satisfy the person completely. These guys are termed as born losers cause even when they have the thing they wanted, they can't stop others from stealing it from them.

So next time you sit with a person eating a masala dosa, look closely and see if he falls into one of the above categories. You may be surprised as how much it reveals about the person

Know Your Customers

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"

The salesman explained

"When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through three posters...

First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand...totally exhausted and fainting.

Second poster: The man is drinking our Cola.

Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed.

And Then these posters were pasted all over the place “Then that should have worked!" said the friend.
"The hell it should had!? Said the salesman. didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left"

GF ne Bhikari bana diya!

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Police arrested a drunkard & asked: Where r u going?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 over's, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow but sure!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.

Why INDIA is in trouble?

• Population: 100 crore
• 9 crore retired
• 30 crore in state Govt;
• 17 crore in central Govt.(Both categories don't work)
• 1 crore IT professional (don't work for India )
• 25 crore in school
• 1 crore are under 5 years
• 15 crore unemployed
• 1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals

Statistics says find 79,99,998 people anytime in jail.

The Balance two are U & Me.

U are busy ' reading my blog

HOW CAN I HANDLE INDIA alone?

Wada-pav and Recession

DO U KNOW

What is recession?

This Story is about a man who once upon a time was selling "Wada-Pav" by the roadside.

He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers.

He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio.

His eyes were weak, so he never watched television.

But enthusiastically, he sold lots of "Wada-pavs".

He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales.

His sales and profit went up..

He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sale more.

He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers.

He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove.

As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his
father.

Then something strange happened.

The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?"

The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible.

The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times."

The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watched TV.

He ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly.

So the next day onwards, the father cut down his raw material order and buns, took down the colourful signboard, removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic.

He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs.

Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his "Wada-Pav" stand.

And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit.

The father said to his son, "Son, you were right".

"We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."

Moral of The Story: It's all in your MIND! And we actually FUEL this recession much more than we think we do!!!!!!!!!! !!

What can we take away from this story??

1. How many times we confuse intelligence with good judgment?

2. Choose your advisors carefully but use your own judgment

3. A person or an organization will survive forever, if they have the 5 Cs

* Character

* Commitment

* Conviction

* Courtesy

* Courage

The tragedy today is that there are many walking encyclopedias that are living failures.

The More practical and appropriate views on this economic recession is:

"This is the time to reunite together for any small or a big organization,

this is the time to motivate and retain people which are the biggest asset,

this is the time to show more commitments to the customers,

this is the time show values of our company to the world,

and this is the time to stand by our Nation".

Please do not take this Lightly…..

SW Prof-Matrimon'e'y

SW eng always on Hardtime, either with work or Personally. Its Just an another example how s/w eng having hard time with Society too. Who cursed S/W engs?

Disturbing Co-Passengers

An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun-game.

The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa." Again, the Indian declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."

This gets the Indian's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."

So the Indian asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American thinks about it. No answer.
Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer!

He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers. Checks the input. All to no avail! Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500.

The Indian thanks him and turns back to get his sleep. The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the American $5, and goes back to sleep! Gorrrrrrrrrrrr

Thanks Pic Courtesy: Lostweekend.tv

sgtrane mnid

If you can read the following paragraph....

Only great minds can read this

This is weird, but interesting!


fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too


Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveie e t aht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it