CTRL+C (Copy)
CTRL+X (Cut)
CTRL+V (Paste)
CTRL+Z (Undo)
DELETE (Delete)
SHIFT+DELETE (Delete the selected item permanently without placing the item in the Recycle Bin)
CTRL while dragging an item (Copy the selected item)
CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item (Create a shortcut to the selected item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+RIGHT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next word)
CTRL+LEFT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous word)
CTRL+DOWN ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next paragraph)
CTRL+UP ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous paragraph)
CTRL+SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Highlight a block of text)
SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Select more than one item in a window or on the desktop, or select text in a document)
CTRL+A (Select all)
F3 key (Search for a file or a folder)
ALT+ENTER (View the properties for the selected item)
ALT+F4 (Close the active item, or quit the active program)
ALT+ENTER (Display the properties of the selected object)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Open the shortcut menu for the active window)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active document in programs that enable you to have multiple documents open simultaneously)
ALT+TAB (Switch between the open items)
ALT+ESC (Cycle through items in the order that they had been opened)
F6 key (Cycle through the screen elements in a window or on the desktop)
F4 key (Display the Address bar list in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the shortcut menu for the selected item)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the System menu for the active window)
CTRL+ESC (Display the Start menu)
ALT+Underlined letter in a menu name (Display the corresponding menu)
Underlined letter in a command name on an open menu (Perform the corresponding command)
F10 key (Activate the menu bar in the active program)
RIGHT ARROW (Open the next menu to the right, or open a submenu)
LEFT ARROW (Open the next menu to the left, or close a submenu)
F5 key (Update the active window)
BACKSPACE (View the folder one level up in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
ESC (Cancel the current task)
SHIFT when you insert a CD-ROM into the CD-ROM drive (Prevent the CD-ROM from automatically playing)
Dialog Box Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+TAB (Move forward through the tabs)
CTRL+SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the tabs)
TAB (Move forward through the options)
SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the options)
ALT+Underlined letter (Perform the corresponding command or select the corresponding option)
ENTER (Perform the command for the active option or button)
SPACEBAR (Select or clear the check box if the active option is a check box)
Arrow keys (Select a button if the active option is a group of option buttons)
F1 key (Display Help)
F4 key (Display the items in the active list)
BACKSPACE (Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the Save As or Open dialog box)
m*cro$oft Natural Keyboard Shortcuts
Windows Logo (Display or hide the Start menu)
Windows Logo+BREAK (Display the System Properties dialog box)
Windows Logo+D (Display the desktop)
Windows Logo+M (Minimize all of the windows)
Windows Logo+SHIFT+M (Restore the minimized windows)
Windows Logo+E (Open My Computer)
Windows Logo+F (Search for a file or a folder)
CTRL+Windows Logo+F (Search for computers)
Windows Logo+F1 (Display Windows Help)
Windows Logo+ L (Lock the keyboard)
Windows Logo+R (Open the Run dialog box)
Windows Logo+U (Open Utility Manager)
Accessibility Keyboard Shortcuts
Right SHIFT for eight seconds (Switch FilterKeys either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+PRINT SCREEN (Switch High Contrast either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+NUM LOCK (Switch the MouseKeys either on or off)
SHIFT five times (Switch the StickyKeys either on or off)
NUM LOCK for five seconds (Switch the ToggleKeys either on or off)
Windows Logo +U (Open Utility Manager)
Windows Explorer Keyboard Shortcuts
END (Display the bottom of the active window)
HOME (Display the top of the active window)
NUM LOCK+Asterisk sign (*) (Display all of the subfolders that are under the selected folder)
NUM LOCK+Plus sign (+) (Display the contents of the selected folder)
NUM LOCK+Minus sign (-) (Collapse the selected folder)
LEFT ARROW (Collapse the current selection if it is expanded, or select the parent folder)
RIGHT ARROW (Display the current selection if it is collapsed, or select the first subfolder)
Shortcut Keys for Character Map
After you double-click a character on the grid of characters, you can move through the grid by using the keyboard shortcuts:
RIGHT ARROW (Move to the right or to the beginning of the next line)
LEFT ARROW (Move to the left or to the end of the previous line)
UP ARROW (Move up one row)
DOWN ARROW (Move down one row)
PAGE UP (Move up one screen at a time)
PAGE DOWN (Move down one screen at a time)
HOME (Move to the beginning of the line)
END (Move to the end of the line)
CTRL+HOME (Move to the first character)
CTRL+END (Move to the last character)
SPACEBAR (Switch between Enlarged and Normal mode when a character is selected)
m*cro$oft Management Console (MMC) Main Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+O (Open a saved console)
CTRL+N (Open a new console)
CTRL+S (Save the open console)
CTRL+M (Add or remove a console item)
CTRL+W (Open a new window)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the MMC window menu)
ALT+F4 (Close the console)
ALT+A (Display the Action menu)
ALT+V (Display the View menu)
ALT+F (Display the File menu)
ALT+O (Display the Favorites menu)
MMC Console Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+P (Print the current page or active pane)
ALT+Minus sign (-) (Display the window menu for the active console window)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the Action shortcut menu for the selected item)
F1 key (Open the Help topic, if any, for the selected item)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
CTRL+F10 (Maximize the active console window)
CTRL+F5 (Restore the active console window)
ALT+ENTER (Display the Properties dialog box, if any, for the selected item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active console window. When a console has only one console window, this shortcut closes the console)
Remote Desktop Connection Navigation
CTRL+ALT+END (Open the m*cro$oft Windows NT Security dialog box)
ALT+PAGE UP (Switch between programs from left to right)
ALT+PAGE DOWN (Switch between programs from right to left)
ALT+INSERT (Cycle through the programs in most recently used order)
ALT+HOME (Display the Start menu)
CTRL+ALT+BREAK (Switch the client computer between a window and a full screen)
ALT+DELETE (Display the Windows menu)
CTRL+ALT+Minus sign (-) (Place a snapshot of the active window in the client on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as pressing PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
CTRL+ALT+Plus sign (+) (Place a snapshot of the entire client window area on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as pressing ALT+PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
m*cro$oft Internet Explorer Navigation
CTRL+B (Open the Organize Favorites dialog box)
CTRL+E (Open the Search bar)
CTRL+F (Start the Find utility)
CTRL+H (Open the History bar)
CTRL+I (Open the Favorites bar)
CTRL+L (Open the Open dialog box)
CTRL+N (Start another instance of the browser with the same Web address)
CTRL+O (Open the Open dialog box, the same as CTRL+L)
CTRL+P (Open the Print dialog box)
CTRL+R (Update the current Web page)
CTRL+W (Close the current window)
Monday, April 13, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Be a Decent Husband
Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25 th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".
Editor: " Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: " We had been to Ooty for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said " This is your first time ". She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said " This is your second time " and continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!
I shouted at my wife: " What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy ?"
She gave a silent look and said:
" This is your first time!!!”
Husband: "That's it. We are happily married ever after. "
Disc: This story may or may not reflect my personal experience , how abt yours
Editor: " Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: " We had been to Ooty for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said " This is your first time ". She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said " This is your second time " and continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!
I shouted at my wife: " What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy ?"
She gave a silent look and said:
" This is your first time!!!”
Husband: "That's it. We are happily married ever after. "
Disc: This story may or may not reflect my personal experience , how abt yours
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Masala Dosa
There are many ways to eat a masala dosa .What ever the way one eats; there is a very good reason for doing that. It shows some traits of the person that is you...
Case 1: People who open the masala dosa and eat it: These are the people who are very open about their life. Everyone one the persons friends would know all about him/her. I have generally seen guys do this rather than girls. Some people think that it is a gross way of eating but in truth, these people are just portraying who they are and how their life is.
Case 2: People who start from both end and approach the masala later: These are the people who like to wait for the exiting things to come to their life. Sadly when the times comes, they are not too interested or just do not know how to enjoy it to the fullest. These are the folks who just want life as either dry or exiting. They just do not know how to phase their life and enjoy it no matter what. There are two types of people within this group
Case 2.1: People who do not finish all the masala: These folks just do not care as much for the fun times as they are already brought down by the harsh reality of life. The dry periods in their life has left them with so much scars that they do not want to be really happy when the time is right. They just take only as much as they needed and end their life. A very sorry state indeed.
Case 2.2: People who finish all the masala with the little dosa they have: These are the folks who just are the extremes. They just go all out in life. No matter it is dark or bright. They may not enjoy life to the fullest but they sure make sure that they get every single good and bad thing out of life. Sometimes these folks are really hard to get along with. They are either your best friends or your worst enemies. They do not have a middle path at all.
Case 3: People who start from the middle and proceed to both ends: These are the people who like to get right to what they think is their best part of life. Usually these guys finish of the good portions in a hurry and get stuck with nothing but worst parts of their life. The thing to note among these people is that the tendency to burn out very early in their life. Like the above case, there are two kinds of people in this group too.
Case 3.1: People who do not finish the dosa: These folks are really the saddest of people. They are the ones who tend to end their life as soon as it hits the bad patch. For them, they only need and want the best things in life and nothing more. Typically, they are not prepared or tuned to life as a whole. They just want to enjoy from first till last. Sadly, no one in the world can live without even an ounce of sadness in life.... Not even the richest of the richest. But to self destruct at the mere sign of distress is very bad. That is what these guys tend to do. Some learn to live life but most of them do not.
Case 3.1: People who do finish the dosa: These folks are the typical human beings. We all enjoy the greatest of times in life and push the sad parts thinking about the great times in life. Typically the plate is clean and nothing is left for fate or in life. Happiness and sadness are part of life and these guys know that and are kind of prepared for it. Life is not always happy but there are moments of happiness here and there.
Case 4: People who eat the dosa making sure that the masala lasts for the whole dosa: These people are very rare. These are the people who like to attain balance in their life. It is hard to displease these people and it is hard to make them really happy. They like their balance and are very protective of it. Sadly these are the people who tend to be lonely as anyone else may upset the balance of their system. Perfectionist to the core and are very careful. These guys do not make the best company but are needed in any group to make the group from going hay wire.
Case 5: People who do not share and eat the dosa as if it is precious: These folks are very protective about their life. They do not want anyone to come and interfere in their life. They like to hide their true nature and intensions for their benefit. Beware of such people as they are in every group for their own need and nothing else.
Case 6: People who offer their first bite to others: These guys are overly friendly. They do anything to be part of a group and make everyone feel like the group is important than the individuals. They are the glue that holds any group together. They are very friendly and bring the best of all the others in the group. They go out of their way to help other friends. Most groups should have a person like this and they are the ones who plan the group outings and other group activities. Once this person is out of the group, typically the group slowly falls apart.
Case 7: People who take one or two bites and then offer the dosa to others: These guys care about friends and friendship but they take their time to get into the group.... They take their time in making friends and they typically are very committed once into the friendship. These guys like to always be in the side lines and typically do not jump into anything in life. They always take their time to analyze the situation and then make a decision. These guys take the better safe than sorry approach.
Case 8: People who wait for others to make the offer first: Typical people I must say. They are unsure about everything. Even if they wanted to offer, they will wait till the other person offers the food first. If the other person is silent, so are these people. They are the followers. They do terrific idea, they will pitch it to someone else and get their advice before proceeding. Sadly, most of the elderly world like these types of people.
Case 9: People who offer dosa only when they cannot finish it on their own: You all may be familiar with these kinds of people. People who are very generous only when all their needs are fulfilled. These folks are selfish but at the same time not misers or greedy. They just want to satisfy themselves before they give it to the world. They typically do not stuff themselves nor do they tend to starve. They are very good people who would give you the best of advices in life. They would make sure that you are not sad following their advice.
Case 10: People who offer the whole dosa and eat from others plates: These folks are other extreme. They know what they want, they get what they want but they cannot enjoy what they want. Instead they tend to settle for other things in life which satisfies the needs but does not satisfy the person completely. These guys are termed as born losers cause even when they have the thing they wanted, they can't stop others from stealing it from them.
So next time you sit with a person eating a masala dosa, look closely and see if he falls into one of the above categories. You may be surprised as how much it reveals about the person
Case 1: People who open the masala dosa and eat it: These are the people who are very open about their life. Everyone one the persons friends would know all about him/her. I have generally seen guys do this rather than girls. Some people think that it is a gross way of eating but in truth, these people are just portraying who they are and how their life is.
Case 2: People who start from both end and approach the masala later: These are the people who like to wait for the exiting things to come to their life. Sadly when the times comes, they are not too interested or just do not know how to enjoy it to the fullest. These are the folks who just want life as either dry or exiting. They just do not know how to phase their life and enjoy it no matter what. There are two types of people within this group
Case 2.1: People who do not finish all the masala: These folks just do not care as much for the fun times as they are already brought down by the harsh reality of life. The dry periods in their life has left them with so much scars that they do not want to be really happy when the time is right. They just take only as much as they needed and end their life. A very sorry state indeed.
Case 2.2: People who finish all the masala with the little dosa they have: These are the folks who just are the extremes. They just go all out in life. No matter it is dark or bright. They may not enjoy life to the fullest but they sure make sure that they get every single good and bad thing out of life. Sometimes these folks are really hard to get along with. They are either your best friends or your worst enemies. They do not have a middle path at all.
Case 3: People who start from the middle and proceed to both ends: These are the people who like to get right to what they think is their best part of life. Usually these guys finish of the good portions in a hurry and get stuck with nothing but worst parts of their life. The thing to note among these people is that the tendency to burn out very early in their life. Like the above case, there are two kinds of people in this group too.
Case 3.1: People who do not finish the dosa: These folks are really the saddest of people. They are the ones who tend to end their life as soon as it hits the bad patch. For them, they only need and want the best things in life and nothing more. Typically, they are not prepared or tuned to life as a whole. They just want to enjoy from first till last. Sadly, no one in the world can live without even an ounce of sadness in life.... Not even the richest of the richest. But to self destruct at the mere sign of distress is very bad. That is what these guys tend to do. Some learn to live life but most of them do not.
Case 3.1: People who do finish the dosa: These folks are the typical human beings. We all enjoy the greatest of times in life and push the sad parts thinking about the great times in life. Typically the plate is clean and nothing is left for fate or in life. Happiness and sadness are part of life and these guys know that and are kind of prepared for it. Life is not always happy but there are moments of happiness here and there.
Case 4: People who eat the dosa making sure that the masala lasts for the whole dosa: These people are very rare. These are the people who like to attain balance in their life. It is hard to displease these people and it is hard to make them really happy. They like their balance and are very protective of it. Sadly these are the people who tend to be lonely as anyone else may upset the balance of their system. Perfectionist to the core and are very careful. These guys do not make the best company but are needed in any group to make the group from going hay wire.
Case 5: People who do not share and eat the dosa as if it is precious: These folks are very protective about their life. They do not want anyone to come and interfere in their life. They like to hide their true nature and intensions for their benefit. Beware of such people as they are in every group for their own need and nothing else.
Case 6: People who offer their first bite to others: These guys are overly friendly. They do anything to be part of a group and make everyone feel like the group is important than the individuals. They are the glue that holds any group together. They are very friendly and bring the best of all the others in the group. They go out of their way to help other friends. Most groups should have a person like this and they are the ones who plan the group outings and other group activities. Once this person is out of the group, typically the group slowly falls apart.
Case 7: People who take one or two bites and then offer the dosa to others: These guys care about friends and friendship but they take their time to get into the group.... They take their time in making friends and they typically are very committed once into the friendship. These guys like to always be in the side lines and typically do not jump into anything in life. They always take their time to analyze the situation and then make a decision. These guys take the better safe than sorry approach.
Case 8: People who wait for others to make the offer first: Typical people I must say. They are unsure about everything. Even if they wanted to offer, they will wait till the other person offers the food first. If the other person is silent, so are these people. They are the followers. They do terrific idea, they will pitch it to someone else and get their advice before proceeding. Sadly, most of the elderly world like these types of people.
Case 9: People who offer dosa only when they cannot finish it on their own: You all may be familiar with these kinds of people. People who are very generous only when all their needs are fulfilled. These folks are selfish but at the same time not misers or greedy. They just want to satisfy themselves before they give it to the world. They typically do not stuff themselves nor do they tend to starve. They are very good people who would give you the best of advices in life. They would make sure that you are not sad following their advice.
Case 10: People who offer the whole dosa and eat from others plates: These folks are other extreme. They know what they want, they get what they want but they cannot enjoy what they want. Instead they tend to settle for other things in life which satisfies the needs but does not satisfy the person completely. These guys are termed as born losers cause even when they have the thing they wanted, they can't stop others from stealing it from them.
So next time you sit with a person eating a masala dosa, look closely and see if he falls into one of the above categories. You may be surprised as how much it reveals about the person
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Know Your Customers
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained
"When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through three posters...
First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand...totally exhausted and fainting.
Second poster: The man is drinking our Cola.
Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed.
And Then these posters were pasted all over the place “Then that should have worked!" said the friend.
"The hell it should had!? Said the salesman. didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left"
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained
"When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through three posters...
First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand...totally exhausted and fainting.
Second poster: The man is drinking our Cola.
Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed.
And Then these posters were pasted all over the place “Then that should have worked!" said the friend.
"The hell it should had!? Said the salesman. didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left"
Monday, February 23, 2009
GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Police arrested a drunkard & asked: Where r u going?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 over's, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow but sure!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
Police arrested a drunkard & asked: Where r u going?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 over's, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow but sure!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Why INDIA is in trouble?
- Population: 100 crore
- 9 crore retired
- 30 crore in state Govt;
- 17 crore in central Govt.(Both categories don't work)
- 1 crore IT professional (don't work for India )
- 25 crore in school
- 1 crore are under 5 years
- 15 crore unemployed
- 1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals
The Balance two are U & Me.
U are busy ' reading my blog
HOW CAN I HANDLE INDIA alone?
Friday, February 13, 2009
Wada-pav and Recession
DO U KNOW
What is recession?
This Story is about a man who once upon a time was selling "Wada-Pav" by the roadside.
He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers.
He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio.
His eyes were weak, so he never watched television.
But enthusiastically, he sold lots of "Wada-pavs".
He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales.
His sales and profit went up..
He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sale more.
He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers.
He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove.
As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his
father.
Then something strange happened.
The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?"
The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible.
The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times."
The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watched TV.
He ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly.
So the next day onwards, the father cut down his raw material order and buns, took down the colourful signboard, removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic.
He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs.
Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his "Wada-Pav" stand.
And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit.
The father said to his son, "Son, you were right".
"We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."
Moral of The Story: It's all in your MIND! And we actually FUEL this recession much more than we think we do!!!!!!!!!! !!
What can we take away from this story??
1. How many times we confuse intelligence with good judgment?
2. Choose your advisors carefully but use your own judgment
3. A person or an organization will survive forever, if they have the 5 Cs
* Character
* Commitment
* Conviction
* Courtesy
* Courage
The tragedy today is that there are many walking encyclopedias that are living failures.
The More practical and appropriate views on this economic recession is:
"This is the time to reunite together for any small or a big organization,
this is the time to motivate and retain people which are the biggest asset,
this is the time to show more commitments to the customers,
this is the time show values of our company to the world,
and this is the time to stand by our Nation".
Please do not take this Lightly…..
What is recession?
This Story is about a man who once upon a time was selling "Wada-Pav" by the roadside.
He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers.
He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio.
His eyes were weak, so he never watched television.
But enthusiastically, he sold lots of "Wada-pavs".
He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales.
His sales and profit went up..
He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sale more.
He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers.
He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove.
As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his
father.
Then something strange happened.
The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?"
The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible.
The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times."
The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watched TV.
He ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly.
So the next day onwards, the father cut down his raw material order and buns, took down the colourful signboard, removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic.
He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs.
Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his "Wada-Pav" stand.
And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit.
The father said to his son, "Son, you were right".
"We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."
Moral of The Story: It's all in your MIND! And we actually FUEL this recession much more than we think we do!!!!!!!!!! !!
What can we take away from this story??
1. How many times we confuse intelligence with good judgment?
2. Choose your advisors carefully but use your own judgment
3. A person or an organization will survive forever, if they have the 5 Cs
* Character
* Commitment
* Conviction
* Courtesy
* Courage
The tragedy today is that there are many walking encyclopedias that are living failures.
The More practical and appropriate views on this economic recession is:
"This is the time to reunite together for any small or a big organization,
this is the time to motivate and retain people which are the biggest asset,
this is the time to show more commitments to the customers,
this is the time show values of our company to the world,
and this is the time to stand by our Nation".
Please do not take this Lightly…..
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
SW Prof-Matrimon'e'y
SW eng always on Hardtime, either with work or Personally. Its Just an another example how s/w eng having hard time with Society too. Who cursed S/W engs?
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Disturbing Co-Passengers
An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun-game.
The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa." Again, the Indian declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."
This gets the Indian's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."
So the Indian asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American thinks about it. No answer.
Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer!
He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers. Checks the input. All to no avail! Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500.
The Indian thanks him and turns back to get his sleep. The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the American $5, and goes back to sleep! Gorrrrrrrrrrrr
The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa." Again, the Indian declines and tries to get some sleep.The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."
This gets the Indian's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."
So the Indian asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American thinks about it. No answer.
Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer!
He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers. Checks the input. All to no avail! Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500.
The Indian thanks him and turns back to get his sleep. The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the American $5, and goes back to sleep! Gorrrrrrrrrrrr
Thanks Pic Courtesy: Lostweekend.tv
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
sgtrane mnid
If you can read the following paragraph....
Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting!
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveie e t aht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it
Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting!
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveie e t aht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Internet & Toilet Cleaning
An unemployed worker applies at XXCompany for the position of a janitor. The HR chief invites him to an interview and subjects him to some tests. Then he tells him: You got the job, just give me your e-mail address so that I can send you the employment contract as well as the day and time when to start. The man is distraught and answers that he has no computer and therefore also no e-mail. The HR boss tells him that if he has no e-mail address he virtually does not exist and therefore cannot hold a job.
The man leaves in a desperate mood without knowing what to do with his last $10 in his pocket. Finally he decides to go into a supermarket and to buy a 10 lb box of strawberries. He starts out with door to door calls in order to sell those strawberries by the pound. He manages to double his capital in 2 hours. He repeats the deal 3 times more and goes home with $60 in his pocket.
He comes to see that he can survive this way. He starts every day earlier and comes home every day later. So he triples or quadruples his money every day. A short time later he buys a wheel barrow, then exchanges it later into a truck and sooner or later is the owner of a complete fleet of delivery trucks.
5 year go by…
The man is now the owner of one of the largest food chain in the USA. Now he starts thinking about the future for him and his family and decides to buy a life insurance. He calls an agent and selects a good policy. At the end of the negotiations the agents asks him for his e-mail address to send him a confirmation of the policy. The man tells him that he doesn’t have an e-mail address! That is strange, says the agent, you have no e-mail and nevertheless you built this large empire. Can you imagine where you would be if you you had an e-mail address.
The man briefly thinks and then answers: I WOULD BE A TOILET CLEANER AT XXCompany
Moral of the story:
The internet does not solve all the problems in our lives!
The man leaves in a desperate mood without knowing what to do with his last $10 in his pocket. Finally he decides to go into a supermarket and to buy a 10 lb box of strawberries. He starts out with door to door calls in order to sell those strawberries by the pound. He manages to double his capital in 2 hours. He repeats the deal 3 times more and goes home with $60 in his pocket.
He comes to see that he can survive this way. He starts every day earlier and comes home every day later. So he triples or quadruples his money every day. A short time later he buys a wheel barrow, then exchanges it later into a truck and sooner or later is the owner of a complete fleet of delivery trucks.
5 year go by…
The man is now the owner of one of the largest food chain in the USA. Now he starts thinking about the future for him and his family and decides to buy a life insurance. He calls an agent and selects a good policy. At the end of the negotiations the agents asks him for his e-mail address to send him a confirmation of the policy. The man tells him that he doesn’t have an e-mail address! That is strange, says the agent, you have no e-mail and nevertheless you built this large empire. Can you imagine where you would be if you you had an e-mail address.
The man briefly thinks and then answers: I WOULD BE A TOILET CLEANER AT XXCompany
Moral of the story:
The internet does not solve all the problems in our lives!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
FMCG companies get IT savvy
Fast moving consumer goods (FMCG) companies are looking at 10-20 percent improvement in production and efficiency levels this year because of the adoption of newer technologies to track expansion of product portfolio and manufacturing locations, besides aggregation of godowns and shipment warehouses.
FMCG companies will spend around 10-15 percent of their net profit on technology. Companies like ITC Limited, Emami and Marico have forayed into diverse businesses in FMCG alone. This has not only led to the rapid expansion of the supply chain but has also increased complexities.
ITC’s manufacturing locations have increased rapidly to about 200 from about a dozen-owned manufacturing facilities for its different businesses. In addition to these manufacturing locations, ITC’s aggregating of godowns and shipment warehouses have grown exponentially in a couple of years.
Emami’s recent investment in IT has ensured finalisation of its balance sheet in a record 35 days against the 60-day norm.
Mohan Goenka, director, Emami, says: “We foresee an improvement of 10 percent in production and efficiency levels at Emami for financial year 2008-09. This will be achieved by implementing sales and operation planning, demand management and distribution resource planning which will enable system control to forecast sales, check inventories at locations, plan manufacturing resources and logistics to meet the customer schedules.”
Marico, on its part, is investing in better connectivity through enterprise portals; wi-fi enabled offices and in unified communications.
Marico is investing in automation of many workflows like Writeoffs, insurance claims, and media spend management portal.
According to Udayraj Prabhu, head, business applications, Marico: “We have commenced Project Edge, an initiative to improve the budgeting, planning and review systems using the TM1 tool of IBM-Cognos. This will enable us to strengthen our budgeting, planning and review processes by making them quicker, error-free and less tedious. This should lead to a significant saving in time for those involved in these activities.”
The company has also launched HR portal platforms as active channels of communication within the organisation.
ITC Ltd is building an IT infrastructure to bar code its produce at the warehouse itself, even before it reaches the retailers.
This is expected to help ITC keep track of product manufacturing time, thereby enabling implementation of first-manufactured-first-out (FMFO) strategy, which means items manufactured first are shipped out of the factory and the warehouse earlier than products manufactured later.
Among other projects, ITC will also implement this year usage of ‘push technology’ for its sales force.
VVR Babu, chief information officer, ITC Ltd, says: “Each salesman is allotted specific locations and he has to track sales and requirements of all shops and stores of a particular area. We are working on an integrated IT system which will gather and push information onto our salesmen’s laptops so that they don’t have to waste time looking up details on the company portal. For instance, if a salesman is covering 10 outlets of a region, every evening ITC’s systems will push onto his laptop the sales, distribution and requirements of that region and also the target to be met.”
FMCG companies will spend around 10-15 percent of their net profit on technology. Companies like ITC Limited, Emami and Marico have forayed into diverse businesses in FMCG alone. This has not only led to the rapid expansion of the supply chain but has also increased complexities.
ITC’s manufacturing locations have increased rapidly to about 200 from about a dozen-owned manufacturing facilities for its different businesses. In addition to these manufacturing locations, ITC’s aggregating of godowns and shipment warehouses have grown exponentially in a couple of years.
Emami’s recent investment in IT has ensured finalisation of its balance sheet in a record 35 days against the 60-day norm.
Mohan Goenka, director, Emami, says: “We foresee an improvement of 10 percent in production and efficiency levels at Emami for financial year 2008-09. This will be achieved by implementing sales and operation planning, demand management and distribution resource planning which will enable system control to forecast sales, check inventories at locations, plan manufacturing resources and logistics to meet the customer schedules.”
Marico, on its part, is investing in better connectivity through enterprise portals; wi-fi enabled offices and in unified communications.
Marico is investing in automation of many workflows like Writeoffs, insurance claims, and media spend management portal.
According to Udayraj Prabhu, head, business applications, Marico: “We have commenced Project Edge, an initiative to improve the budgeting, planning and review systems using the TM1 tool of IBM-Cognos. This will enable us to strengthen our budgeting, planning and review processes by making them quicker, error-free and less tedious. This should lead to a significant saving in time for those involved in these activities.”
The company has also launched HR portal platforms as active channels of communication within the organisation.
ITC Ltd is building an IT infrastructure to bar code its produce at the warehouse itself, even before it reaches the retailers.
This is expected to help ITC keep track of product manufacturing time, thereby enabling implementation of first-manufactured-first-out (FMFO) strategy, which means items manufactured first are shipped out of the factory and the warehouse earlier than products manufactured later.
Among other projects, ITC will also implement this year usage of ‘push technology’ for its sales force.
VVR Babu, chief information officer, ITC Ltd, says: “Each salesman is allotted specific locations and he has to track sales and requirements of all shops and stores of a particular area. We are working on an integrated IT system which will gather and push information onto our salesmen’s laptops so that they don’t have to waste time looking up details on the company portal. For instance, if a salesman is covering 10 outlets of a region, every evening ITC’s systems will push onto his laptop the sales, distribution and requirements of that region and also the target to be met.”
Monday, November 17, 2008
Build Wisely
An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.
The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials.
It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career. When the carpenter finished his work the employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter. 'This is your house,' he said, 'my gift to you.' The carpenter was shocked! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.
So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then with a shock we realize we have to live in the house we have built. If we could do it over, we'd do it much differently. But we cannot go back.
You are the carpenter. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. 'Life is a do-it-yourself project,' someone has said. Your attitudes and the choices you make today, build the 'house' you live in tomorrow.
Build wisely! Remember... Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching.
I am not sure about Pink Slips
The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials.
It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career. When the carpenter finished his work the employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter. 'This is your house,' he said, 'my gift to you.' The carpenter was shocked! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.
So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then with a shock we realize we have to live in the house we have built. If we could do it over, we'd do it much differently. But we cannot go back.
You are the carpenter. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. 'Life is a do-it-yourself project,' someone has said. Your attitudes and the choices you make today, build the 'house' you live in tomorrow.
Build wisely! Remember... Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching.
I am not sure about Pink Slips
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Why God Doesn't Have Voicemail
We have all learned to live with "Voice Mail" as a necessary part of life. But have you wondered, what if God decided to install voice mail?"
Imagine praying and hearing this:
Hi! Thank you for calling GOD.
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.
Else wait for our Customer Support Executive.
-------------------------------------------------------
What if God used the familiar excuse... "I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However,your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it as received, so please stay on the line"
------------------------------------------------------
Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in Prayer:
If you would like to speak to:
Lord Ganesh, Press 1.
For Lord Hanuman, Press 2.
For Lord Krishna, Sorry He is on Annual Leave!
For a directory of other God's & Angels, Press 3.
If you would like to hear Naradha sing a Bhajan while you are holding, please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned To Heaven, Press 5, enter his or her PAN number, then press the 0 key. If you get a negative response, try area code 420 for(Hell).
For reservations and bookings in at "My Father's Guest House - Exclusive 7 Star Hotel " please enter Your Name , Date of Birth in mm-dd-yy format followed by 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about Future of Indian Cricket, the age of the earth and where Majnu Ka Tila is, please wait until you arrive here.
-----------------------------------------
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today.
Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
----------------------------------------------
This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local Priest at your neighbourhood Temple.
----------------------------------------------------
Thank God !! He doesn't have Voice Mail and He listens whenever we pray !!!!
Imagine praying and hearing this:
Hi! Thank you for calling GOD.
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.
Else wait for our Customer Support Executive.
-------------------------------------------------------
What if God used the familiar excuse... "I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However,your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it as received, so please stay on the line"
------------------------------------------------------
Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in Prayer:
If you would like to speak to:
Lord Ganesh, Press 1.
For Lord Hanuman, Press 2.
For Lord Krishna, Sorry He is on Annual Leave!
For a directory of other God's & Angels, Press 3.
If you would like to hear Naradha sing a Bhajan while you are holding, please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned To Heaven, Press 5, enter his or her PAN number, then press the 0 key. If you get a negative response, try area code 420 for(Hell).
For reservations and bookings in at "My Father's Guest House - Exclusive 7 Star Hotel " please enter Your Name , Date of Birth in mm-dd-yy format followed by 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about Future of Indian Cricket, the age of the earth and where Majnu Ka Tila is, please wait until you arrive here.
-----------------------------------------
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today.
Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
----------------------------------------------
This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local Priest at your neighbourhood Temple.
----------------------------------------------------
Thank God !! He doesn't have Voice Mail and He listens whenever we pray !!!!
Friday, November 07, 2008
Why Planning is important?
One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him
and said they would be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
See Below for the question Paper
Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ......... (2 MARKS)
Q.2.. which tire burst? (98 MARKS)
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right.....!! !
True story from IIT Bombay ...Batch 1992
Moral of the Story: Be prepared to fool others, else ends up fooling yourself.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him
and said they would be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
See Below for the question Paper
Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ......... (2 MARKS)
Q.2.. which tire burst? (98 MARKS)
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right.....!! !
True story from IIT Bombay ...Batch 1992
Moral of the Story: Be prepared to fool others, else ends up fooling yourself.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Support Raj Thackeray
We all should support Raj Thackeray and take his initiative ahead by doing more...
1. We should teach our kids that if he is second in class, don't study harder.. just beat up the student coming first and throw him out of the school
2. Parliament should have only Delhiites as it is located in Delhi
3. Prime-minister, president and all other leaders should only be from Delhi
4. No Hindi movie should be made in Bombay. Only Marathi.
5. At every state border, buses, trains, flights should be stopped and staff changed to local men
6. All Maharashtrians working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are SNATCHING employment from Locals
7. Lord Shiv, Ganesha and Parvati should not be worshiped in our state as they belong to north (Himalayas)
8. Visits to Taj Mahal should be restricted to people from UP only
9. Relief for farmers in Maharashtra should not come from centre because that is the money collected as Tax from whole of India, so why should it be given to someone in Maharashtra?
10. Let's support Kashmiri Militants because they are right in killing and injuring innocent people for the benefit of their state and community..
11. Let's throw all MNCs out of Maharashtra, why should they earn from us? We will open our own Maharashtra Microsoft, MH Pepsi and MH Marutis of the world
12. Let's stop using cellphones, emails, TV, foreign Movies and dramas. James Bond should speak Marathi
13. We should be ready to die hungry or buy food at 10 times higher price but should not accept imports from other states
14. We should not allow any industry to be setup in Maharashtra because all machinery comes from outside
15. We should STOP using local trains... Trains are not manufactured by Marathi manoos and Railway Minister is a Bihari
16. Ensure that all our children are born, grow, live and die without ever stepping out of Maharashtra, then they will become true Marathi's
1. We should teach our kids that if he is second in class, don't study harder.. just beat up the student coming first and throw him out of the school
2. Parliament should have only Delhiites as it is located in Delhi
3. Prime-minister, president and all other leaders should only be from Delhi
4. No Hindi movie should be made in Bombay. Only Marathi.
5. At every state border, buses, trains, flights should be stopped and staff changed to local men
6. All Maharashtrians working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are SNATCHING employment from Locals
7. Lord Shiv, Ganesha and Parvati should not be worshiped in our state as they belong to north (Himalayas)
8. Visits to Taj Mahal should be restricted to people from UP only
9. Relief for farmers in Maharashtra should not come from centre because that is the money collected as Tax from whole of India, so why should it be given to someone in Maharashtra?
10. Let's support Kashmiri Militants because they are right in killing and injuring innocent people for the benefit of their state and community..
11. Let's throw all MNCs out of Maharashtra, why should they earn from us? We will open our own Maharashtra Microsoft, MH Pepsi and MH Marutis of the world
12. Let's stop using cellphones, emails, TV, foreign Movies and dramas. James Bond should speak Marathi
13. We should be ready to die hungry or buy food at 10 times higher price but should not accept imports from other states
14. We should not allow any industry to be setup in Maharashtra because all machinery comes from outside
15. We should STOP using local trains... Trains are not manufactured by Marathi manoos and Railway Minister is a Bihari
16. Ensure that all our children are born, grow, live and die without ever stepping out of Maharashtra, then they will become true Marathi's
Monday, November 03, 2008
Monkey and Wall Street
The following should help in understanding the current world financial situation.
Once upon a time in a village, a man announced to the villages that he would buy monkeys for $ 10 . The villagers seeing there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man brought thousands at $ 10.00, but as the supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts. The man further announced that he would now buy at $ 20. this renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $ 25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to see e monkey, let alone catch it.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $ 50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would act as buyer, on his behalf.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: ' Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $ 35 and then when he returns from the city, you can sell them back to him for $ 50.'
The villagers squeezed together their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!.
Welcome to WALL STREET.
Once upon a time in a village, a man announced to the villages that he would buy monkeys for $ 10 . The villagers seeing there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man brought thousands at $ 10.00, but as the supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts. The man further announced that he would now buy at $ 20. this renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $ 25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to see e monkey, let alone catch it.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $ 50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would act as buyer, on his behalf.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: ' Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $ 35 and then when he returns from the city, you can sell them back to him for $ 50.'
The villagers squeezed together their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!.
Welcome to WALL STREET.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Cops: $2M credit card scam busted
A $2 million credit card fraud ring was been taken down month after a two-year investigation by the Hudson County Prosecutor's Office, U.S. Postal Inspection Service and several local police departments, officials said today.
"This was a complex, time-consuming, cooperative investigation with our federal law enforcement partner and it revealed a more extensive degree of theft than we originally imagined," said Hudson County Prosecutor Edward DeFazio.
He called the criminal enterprise "sophisticated and extremely disrupting to the victims, both businesses and private people."
The investigation culminated with early morning raids at several locations in Hudson County on Friday and charges against Mohammad Sheikh, 47, of North Bergen; Secaucus residents Afzal Sheikh, 54, and Rubina Sheikh, 44, as well as Jersey City residents Quaisar Mahmood, 47, Rafiq Malik, 56, and Rauf Farooqi, 54, officials said.
They are charged with theft by deception, identify theft, money laundering and conspiracy, officials said, adding that Afzal Sheikh, Rubina Sheikh and Mohammad Sheikh have been arrested and remain in custody on $2 million bails. The other remain at large.
Leaders of the group used multiple aliases and Social Security numbers to open credit card accounts at various banks and credit card companies, DeFazio said. The cards would then be used to make nonexistent transactions at "shell" companies created by the suspects, DeFazio said, adding that the companies had no actual sales locations or inventory.
After ringing up fictitious purchases equaling several times the limit of the cards, they would abandon the cards, leaving the unpaid balances, DeFazio said. The prosecutor said the bills would be charged to the accounts of real victims but the credit card companies and banks would wind up footing the bill.
Investigators suspect some of the money was transferred to members of the ring in Pakistan via money orders and other means.
Source:http://www.nj.com/hudson/index.ssf/2008/09/cops_2m_credit_card_scam_buste.html
"This was a complex, time-consuming, cooperative investigation with our federal law enforcement partner and it revealed a more extensive degree of theft than we originally imagined," said Hudson County Prosecutor Edward DeFazio.
He called the criminal enterprise "sophisticated and extremely disrupting to the victims, both businesses and private people."
The investigation culminated with early morning raids at several locations in Hudson County on Friday and charges against Mohammad Sheikh, 47, of North Bergen; Secaucus residents Afzal Sheikh, 54, and Rubina Sheikh, 44, as well as Jersey City residents Quaisar Mahmood, 47, Rafiq Malik, 56, and Rauf Farooqi, 54, officials said.
They are charged with theft by deception, identify theft, money laundering and conspiracy, officials said, adding that Afzal Sheikh, Rubina Sheikh and Mohammad Sheikh have been arrested and remain in custody on $2 million bails. The other remain at large.
Leaders of the group used multiple aliases and Social Security numbers to open credit card accounts at various banks and credit card companies, DeFazio said. The cards would then be used to make nonexistent transactions at "shell" companies created by the suspects, DeFazio said, adding that the companies had no actual sales locations or inventory.
After ringing up fictitious purchases equaling several times the limit of the cards, they would abandon the cards, leaving the unpaid balances, DeFazio said. The prosecutor said the bills would be charged to the accounts of real victims but the credit card companies and banks would wind up footing the bill.
Investigators suspect some of the money was transferred to members of the ring in Pakistan via money orders and other means.
Source:http://www.nj.com/hudson/index.ssf/2008/09/cops_2m_credit_card_scam_buste.html
Friday, October 10, 2008
Recession-Do's and Dont's
Recession is coming .... make your own judgment, don't panic !! Do what is wise.
The recession looks very eminent. It is really time to take pro active steps to avoid a painful time in the next two years which is how long the recession is expected to last.
Suggestions:
1. Don't take any loans; buy homes, properties with loans, or even cash. Keep as much cash as possible.
2. Pay off as much of personal loans, private loans, as debt collection will be hastened.
3. Sell any stocks you can even at lower prices.
4. Take money off from Trust Funds.
5. Don't believe in huge sales forecast from customers, be extremely prudent, lowest inventories, reduce liabilities.
6. Don't invest in new capital.
7. If you are selling homes/ properties/ cars, do it now, when you can get good prices, they are going to fall.
8. Don't invest in new business proposals.
9. Cancel holiday plans using credit cards.
10. Don't change jobs, as companies will retrench based on 'last in first
out'.
Stay cool, wait, and if you took all of the above actions and more, you probably will be better off than many. This is not a rumor. Bear Stearns is the first of many banking and financial institutions that will start falling in the not too future. If Bear Stearns can fall, so can JP Morgan, Citibank, HSBC, and the whole world. US economy falls, the rest will crumble.
India and all those self economies will be the most protected, but not gullible.
Europe may be a little stronger, but not China , another giant! : place Malaysia will see significant impact.
A friendly reminder from a friend!!!
The recession looks very eminent. It is really time to take pro active steps to avoid a painful time in the next two years which is how long the recession is expected to last.
Suggestions:
1. Don't take any loans; buy homes, properties with loans, or even cash. Keep as much cash as possible.
2. Pay off as much of personal loans, private loans, as debt collection will be hastened.
3. Sell any stocks you can even at lower prices.
4. Take money off from Trust Funds.
5. Don't believe in huge sales forecast from customers, be extremely prudent, lowest inventories, reduce liabilities.
6. Don't invest in new capital.
7. If you are selling homes/ properties/ cars, do it now, when you can get good prices, they are going to fall.
8. Don't invest in new business proposals.
9. Cancel holiday plans using credit cards.
10. Don't change jobs, as companies will retrench based on 'last in first
out'.
Stay cool, wait, and if you took all of the above actions and more, you probably will be better off than many. This is not a rumor. Bear Stearns is the first of many banking and financial institutions that will start falling in the not too future. If Bear Stearns can fall, so can JP Morgan, Citibank, HSBC, and the whole world. US economy falls, the rest will crumble.
India and all those self economies will be the most protected, but not gullible.
Europe may be a little stronger, but not China , another giant! : place Malaysia will see significant impact.
A friendly reminder from a friend!!!
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